The Clown Discovery

As a kid, I would often go to kalamazoo with my mother and sister to the local children's resale store. I hated it. I found it embarrassing not only to be seen in a store where there's only second hand clothing but also with my mother who would grab each item that sparked her eye and scream to me--and the whole store about it. I would always find something I loved though; that's what was annoying: my mother was right.

At the time Matilda Jane was the biggest best thing you could have; that's what all the pretty popular girls would wear. I craved to own something of theirs but rightfully so my mother refused to pay $58 for a piece of clothing. It felt as if my heart got ripped out of my chest. She could see how this disappointed me so once again she took me to the resale store. When we arrived I did the classic walk in with your head down “I can't see you, you cant see me” sulking hopelessly behind my mom. But next thing I knew I was face to face with a rack filled with the one and only--Matilda Jane clothing line. My mom looked down at me with the proudest smile on her face ready to hear my delightful words of praise. “Clown clothes.” I reply looking at my mom with a half smile. My moms face went blank as she processed these unexpected words. But it was her reaction that was even more surprising as her smile grew into a roaring laugh.

https://www.facebook.com/matildajaneclothing/posts/ready-set-believe-shop-our-first-release-of-make-believe-today-httpsgooglxhlxca/10155456909536772/

Matilda Jane was never something I truly desired--it was all a facade. Besides the rack overflowing with Matilda Jane I could spot a chocolate brown sweater with colorful pink, blue, and yellow flowers carefully engraved on the sleeves. It felt as if for a split second someone had turned off all gravity as I began to gravitate towards the sweater holding it up tight against my body making certain it would fit just right. The following day I slipped on the sweater and headed to school, I felt great about myself. As I arrived I began to get compliments after compliments about my sweater, the shame I once felt became restored and overfilled with gratified pride. After that day I no longer walked in with my head down or hesitate when someone would ask where my clothes were from, I embraced it.